Keeping My Mouth Shut

I've been keeping my mouth shut for the last several months, I realized today.  At my age, I have had a lot of life experiences.  And I feel like no one else is interested in them.  I don't want to be the one woman who always pipes up in meetings with her own take on other people's problems.  I have noticed places where I could help other people, but it seems they don't Want to be Helped, or listen, or learn from me.  I keep quietly offering, but I can't flat out tell someone, "You need to do it this way!  It will be easier!" when they say "no, I don't need help."  (For instance, conducting music.)

Recently I read a blog about a woman who took two years off from nursing to stay at home with her five children.  Now she is feeling very unfulfilled, and desperately wants to have that outside stimulus again.  As she begins looking at job openings, she is feeling better, so she is glad that she has at least started to go in the right direction.  If I were brave enough to comment on her blog, I would suggest she make some weekly plans for activities with her children, see if there are new mothers in her area who would appreciate her skillful help with their new babies, organize "new mother" classes through local organizations, etc.  That way she would control the use of her time and be available for her children. But I've learned that such comments are not appreciated - and perhaps she has already looked into these areas.

Ok, Quilts.  Let's talk about quilts for a moment. 
A blogger that I follow regularly, quilts for charity quite often.  One day she showed one side of her sewing room and I counted 15 finished quilts on the upper shelves of her cabinet.  15 "heavily embossed" quilts, sitting around waiting to be sent on.

A few days later she talked about two older women she had met that had a number of family quilts, hand stitched quilts, they were ready to let go of.  Quilts that had never been used, just made and kept in closets and trunks.  Beautiful quilts.  Quilts that, once again, had not been used or given away for others to use, just kept in pristine condition.

 I began to wonder, "Just why are we keeping our quilts and refusing to use them?"  Because, you know, I also have a quilt or two that I am not using.  A wedding quilt from my mother-in-law, made of tricot and so very slippery that it slips off the bed, and so that quilt is tucked away in a chest.  Another quilt was made for me by a dear friend, and isn't large enough for my king sized bed.  It, too, is tucked away in the chest.  I have a wall quilt that I put together with friends who signed it.  After I made it and hung it on the wall, I found my husband isn't a fan of quilts on the walls.  Down it came.

I have made baby quilts and stashed them away, 4 girl quilts, 2 boy quilts, and one neutral in the making on my sewing machine.  I have two twin topper quilts, 1 Christmas girl, one boy.  I have two small Christmas quilts done, and one in the making (hand stitching needed here.)  I have plans to make Memory quilts for my children, but am finding it hard to think of cutting into their clothing I have saved.

Why is it so hard for people to use quilts?  Many of the quilting blogs I read talk about the beautiful quilts they have seen in Antique Malls, still in great condition years later.  Why didn't the original owners use them?  If the bloggers were to buy a quilt, they probably take it home and stash it away on a wall somewhere.  Not actually use them.  Why just keep so many quilts?  We can't all keep everything.  Our homes would fill up with the historical items of our lives, and others' lives.  Funny thing:  I just remembered that when my fourth child got married I made two quilts for them within a year or two.  After receiving them, my son called and said they really appreciated them, and two quilts were enough, thankyouverymuch.  He has allowed me to make one quilt for each child, though.

The various charity foundations that call for quilts, giving them away to chemo patients, babies, hospital patients do a great work.  Many quilters love being able to pass on the quilts they have enjoyed making.  I hope that the patients receiving them actually use them until they wear out.

Speaking of wearing out a quilt, I saw a baby size one a year or two ago that was in shreds.  The grown person still slept with it.  No, I didn't make it, but I was glad that it was so loved and used!  I think I need to get out my quilts more and use them, give away the stashed ones, and start working on the memory quilts for my kids.  What am I waiting for?  (Well, besides inclination, I mean.)